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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808850">Chariot</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bringmemisery/pseuds/Bringmemisery'>Bringmemisery</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), no beta we die like Glenn, various Blue Lions mentioned or depicted</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:42:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808850</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bringmemisery/pseuds/Bringmemisery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lonato's passing, Ashe is consumed by grief and heartache. But unbeknownst to him, one of his classmates works diligently to see that bright smile return again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Chariot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “How do you do that with your eyes? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You know it gets me every time </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I swear I wish I could read your mind </em>
</p><p>
  <em> 'Cause I ask the same question every night” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>On the day of Lonato's passing, those who roamed the grounds of Garreg Mach could not miss the distraught that shrouded Ashe's once bright eyes and soft smile. As soon as the Blue Lions had returned from their difficult mission, Ashe had immediately retreated for the cathedral. He couldn't think of anywhere else to go.</p><p>He was heartbroken and confused and angry about the whole ordeal. He couldn't understand why it all had happened. He couldn't understand why Lonato, kind and gentle Lonato, would ever do something like this. It didn't make sense. He'd never shown any hostility towards the church in the past, so why now? Why do it all of a sudden? </p><p>Nothing added up. There had to be something Ashe didn't see. Something he must not have even realized. Something Lonato must have known that Ashe did not. But that lack of knowledge is what terrified Ashe. </p><p>It made his knees quake where he sat on the cold pew of the cathedral. His elbows were pressed into his thighs, and his interlaced fingers trembled. He hung his head low, and his eyes were locked upon the polished flooring below his scuffed boots. His chest ached with each breath he took. </p><p>He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there. A few of his classmates had visited him, but it was difficult speaking with any of them. Even when Professor Byleth stopped by and offered him his shoulder, Ashe couldn’t take it. He hated this feeling. He hated how sick he felt. How empty. How numb. How <em> weak </em> he must seem to everyone around him. </p><p>He wasn’t unfamiliar with this pain in his chest. He’d felt it for the first time when his parents had passed. He’d felt it when he realized he’d never hear his mother’s sweet voice again. He’d felt it when he knew he’d never see his father’s warm smile again. He’d felt it when his brother and sister clung at his sides with tears streaking their faces. He’d felt it when he knew he’d never feel another light tussle in his hair from Christophe.  </p><p>No, he was not unfamiliar with this pain. But Goddess, he didn’t think he would feel it again. And again. And again. </p><p>He released a sigh then as he buried his face into his cold hands. What more was there to do? He’d have to write a letter to his brother and sister, if they hadn't already caught wind of the fact. Goddess, he didn’t even know what to write. He didn’t know if he’d be <em> able </em> to write. He didn’t want to keep the news to himself, and yet, writing it down almost felt too difficult to bear. </p><p>The sound of footsteps pattered upon the slick floor then, and soon a slight creak sounded from the pew under him. Though reluctant, Ashe slowly lifted his face from his hands. He noticed the head of ravenous hair pulled up loosely in a bun first before meeting the pair of tawny brown eyes locked onto his. </p><p>“Hey,” Felix said in a hushed tone.</p><p>“Hey,” Ashe echoed as he took in a breath. He was hoping no more of his classmates would find him. He didn’t want to put up another mask for them, especially not to Felix.</p><p>Felix crossed his arms over his chest as he sank into the pew a bit. He remained silent as his gaze shifted forward, looking off in some unknown distance. Yet something about his silence was...calming. He didn’t prode Ashe with question after question like most of the others did. Not that he wasn’t appreciative of his classmates’ sentiments, of course. Yet, something about Felix’s presence felt different. </p><p>Ashe continued to stare at him before he spoke, “You don’t have to wait around for me, Felix.”</p><p>“I know.” Felix replied, continuing to stare off into the nothingness. </p><p>Ashe let out a sigh then, and noticed Felix’s eyebrow raise. There was a strange expression on his face that Ashe couldn’t quite understand. Surprise and concern was the best way to comprehend it, and yet Felix still said nothing else. Ashe was used to him being quiet, but this silence was unfamiliar. Almost as if Felix was speaking without words, and Ashe struggled to learn this new language. </p><p>“How is everyone?” Ashe forced himself to speak.</p><p>“They’re worried.”</p><p>“Figured as much,” Ashe said as he let his head hang once more. </p><p>Of course, everyone was worried. Why wouldn’t they be? It had to have gotten late by now, but he feared seeing them. He didn’t know what else to tell them.  </p><p>“Hey,” Felix’s voice made Ashe look up once more. “What was he like?”</p><p>Ashe stared at him a moment, unsure if he heard him correctly. </p><p>“I never met him,” Felix continued as he dropped his hands to his sides. “My father spoke of him on occasion, but Gaspard territory being so far never gave me the chance to meet him myself.”</p><p>“He was…” Ashe started as he scraped at his cuticles. “He was a good man. Kind and honest. Always looking out for those around him.”</p><p>Felix nodded then, still quiet. </p><p>“I don’t know how I’m going to tell my brother and sister.” Ashe continued as his hands shook again. “But I know I have to say something to them. I just…”</p><p>Felix turned to him, almost waiting for him to continue.</p><p>“What can I tell them?” Ashe said as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. “That I was there and watched as it happened? That his blood is on my hands just as it is on everyone else's? That I don’t know <em> why </em> he would do such a thing nor why <em> we </em>were responsible for silencing him?” </p><p>“It’s not your fault.”</p><p>“Isn’t it?” Ashe turned, mist blurred his vision. “I did nothing, but kill him and each of the villagers with him.”</p><p>“You did as you were told.” The tone in Felix’s voice was stern, yet calm. “You did all that could be done.”</p><p>Ashe shook his head, “I couldn’t stop him-”</p><p>“But you tried,” Felix said as he shifted closer, his knees inches from Ashe’s. “You tried to speak to him, I heard you and Yuri both. You tried, and he chose to ignore your pleas. You can’t blame yourself for trying.”</p><p>“But it didn’t-”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter if it didn’t work. You made the effort and he rejected it. You didn’t have to speak with him. You could have stayed in the back and hid, but you chose to speak up. You chose to do something, and that's why you shouldn't place any blame on yourself. You did what you could."</p><p>Ashe tried to speak, but tears rolled down his cheeks instead. His throat tightened and the ache in his chest grew heavier. His sobs echoed against the wall, but he couldn't silence himself any longer. He wanted to believe Felix. He wanted to believe that he'd done all he could, but Lonato's face flashed in his mind. That anger, that hatred, that filled his eyes when he'd first noticed Catherine. Ashe had never witnessed anyone loathe another so much as he had then. He'd never witnessed that expression befall Lonato. </p><p>His sobs grew louder, each exhaled breath pounded in his chest. He tried to keep his composure, he tried to fervently wipe away the streams, but his body quaked and his mind spiralled. He felt like such a fool, crying so loudly and drawing so much attention to himself. Everyone around him had their own problems to attend to. They didn't need to hear the weak little boy weeping in the corner. </p><p>A gentle hand was placed upon his cheek then. His chin was lifted up, and his blurred vision met Felix. Tears continued to fall from his eyes, but Felix rubbed a few away with his thumb. The gesture seemingly out of character for someone like Felix. Yet Ashe couldn't help but crave more of his touch. He leaned his head into Felix's hand before reaching for Felix's arm. He wrapped both hands lightly around Felix's forearm, trying to focus on the folds of his loose sleeve.</p><p>With his free arm, Felix grabbed Ashe's shoulder and pulled him close. Ashe was pressed up against his chest, as the tears ceased and he froze. He couldn’t quite comprehend what had just happened. Of all people to offer him a hug, Felix wasn’t the first to come to mind. Yet there was something about the gesture that made Ashe melt into him. The tears proceeded their descent as he wrapped himself around Felix. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Felix whispered, resting his chin on Ashe’s head and lightly rubbing small circles into Ashe’s back.</p><p>In that moment, Ashe didn’t care anymore how weak he must have looked. He didn’t care about holding up any more masks. All he cared about was being nestled against Felix’s chest, and hearing the low thud of his heartbeat. He had Felix right there with him, and that was that all he needed.  </p><p>†††</p><p>A few weeks had passed since Lonato’s passing. The pain continued to linger on Ashe’s heart. Each new day of attending class seemed to bleed into the next. Professor Byleth and his classmates tried their best to brighten his mood, but it was still so hard trying to stay positive. There were still too many questions that remained plastered in his mind. He’d been avoiding Catherine as much as he could since then. He didn’t want to blame her, but he honestly couldn’t help it. </p><p>Lonato had told him it was she who handed over Christophe after that crazy accusation that hung over his head. Back then, Ashe couldn't understand how the whole mess came to be. It happened so suddenly, he couldn't comprehend it. Even now, he still couldn't believe it had happened. And now, Lonato was gone too, and Catherine witnessed it. She <em> dealt </em> the final blow that struck him down. She'd killed <em> both </em>of them without a second thought. She continued to live her life after having taken theirs, as if it was normal. As if it was as simple as breathing. </p><p>"You will collide with the door if you proceed.” A deep voice spoke, causing Ashe to jolt. </p><p>Ashe glanced up and found the combat instructor, Jeritza, staring at him. His cerulean eyes were half-hidden behind his low eyelids. His lips were pursed together into a thin line. </p><p>“My apologies,” Ashe spoke as he looked up at the wooden doors before him. “Are the grounds open?”</p><p>Jeritza nodded as he pushed the door closest to him open. Ashe proceeded in as the door remained open behind him. He sighed as he looked about the grounds. Though he wasn’t in the mood to train, he needed to occupy his buzzing mind somehow. The day was still new, and since it was Sunday, he had too much time to himself to be swallowed by his thoughts. </p><p>He walked towards a wooden barrel near the back of the grounds, and plucked up a bow and a couple of arrows. He proceeded towards the row of bright red, wooden targets lined up before the back wall. With a quick exhale, he dropped the extra arrows to the ground, and tugged the last one across the bow. He pulled the string taut as he eyed the target, his heart pounded in his chest.</p><p>Knots began to form in his stomach as he tried to steady his breath. He tried to clear his mind, he did, but he couldn't get Lonato's face out of his mind. That face of anger and hunger as he had stared at Ashe. The face that haunted him night after night. His vision began to burn as his throat tightened. </p><p>The arrow shot from the bow then, cutting the air before digging into the edge of the target. Ashe shook his head as he tried to blink the tears away. Why wouldn't this heaviness go away? Why did he have to feel so empty? Why did he have to hurt like this? Goddess, why was it so damn hard to feel anything but this unavoidable heartache? </p><p>"I'm no expert," a low voice spoke then. "But I think you're supposed to hit the center."</p><p>Ashe quickly rubbed his eyes as he turned. Felix stood before him, a small frown set on his face and his arms rested on his hips. Ashe hadn't even noticed him there. </p><p>"Yeah," Ashe replied as his voice cracked. "It was...I mean, I-"</p><p>Felix held up a hand, and Ashe closed his mouth. Felix took a few steps closer, and stood next to Ashe. His eyes glanced up towards the target before returning to Ashe. Ashe's heart skipped once their eyes locked. There was no explaining the sudden feeling.</p><p>"Teach me," Felix said then.</p><p>"I'm sorry?" Ashe replied as he wiped his eye with the back of his hand. "It would probably be better if Professor B-"</p><p>"He's not here," Felix interrupted.</p><p>Ashe glanced around the grounds then, but sure enough there was no sign of the Professor. Only a few other students training a distance away from where they stood. </p><p>"I'm not that good at it myself," Ashe replied as he looked at his feet.</p><p>"Nonsense," Felix huffed. "I've watched you enough to know how skilled you are. So, teach me."</p><p>Ashe looked up then and met Felix's eyes once again. His heart pounded as he nodded and stepped closer. With shaky hands, he handed over the bow and retrieved a spare arrow from the ground. He watched as Felix stared at the bow a moment, before shifting to the arrow in his other hand. His brows knitted together as he looked back at the bow. </p><p>"Which hand holds what?" </p><p>"Bow with the left. Arrow with the right." </p><p>Felix nodded as he switched the two in his hands. He quickly pulled the arrow across the string, but instead of staying put, the arrow began to shift away from the bow. </p><p>"Almost." Ashe said with a small laugh. "Point the bow down with the backside of your hand facing up."</p><p>Felix did as such as Ashe continued. "Good. Now, set the arrow in this position, so that it is along the divet in the bow. Yes, like that, and now pull back. The tension of the string will keep the arrow against the base of the bow." </p><p>Felix pulled the arrow then, but suddenly released it and the arrow fumbled to the ground a few feet away.</p><p>"What the hell did I do wrong?"</p><p>"You let go a little too soon," Ashe said as he retrieved the bow. "Hang on tight and pull your arm back more." </p><p>Felix groaned as he grabbed the arrow and repeated the first step. He pulled back, but Ashe placed a hand gently onto Felix's arm. </p><p>"Pull a bit more," he said as Felix complied. "A bit more. Can you feel the tension."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Hold it there a moment. Separate your legs shoulder length apart. Good. See the target?"</p><p>Felix nodded.</p><p>"Aim for the middle. Line the tip of the arrow to the center of the target, and then release." </p><p>Without a moment's waste, Felix released the arrow, and it too struck the opposite edge of the target. </p><p>"I missed."</p><p>"You still hit it, at least." Ashe smiled. "Did you want to try again?"</p><p>"No." Felix replied as he turned to Ashe. "Are you hungry?"</p><p>Ashe blinked a few times as his heart pounded yet again. "Umm, I suppose so."</p><p>"Grab a meal with me." </p><p>Ashe started at him, unsure if that was a question or a statement. He noticed what looked like a small smirk on Felix's lips, and he felt his cheeks warm up. "Of course."</p><p>†††</p><p>The rest of the day flitted by much easier than Ashe had imagined. He'd spend much more time with Felix than he'd expected, but each passing moment was probably the most fun he'd had in such a long time. Beyond that cold exterior, Felix truly was a sweet guy. He could have done something else for the remainder of his day off, and yet he chose to stay with Ashe. Even as he walked Ashe to his quarters on the lower levels of the student lodging, Ashe felt as if he was walking on clouds. There truly was something about Felix's presence that just made the bad feelings go away, as strange as that may seem. </p><p>Ashe glanced at his door then before turning to Felix. </p><p>"Thank you, again," he smiled. "Today was a lot of fun."</p><p>"Glad to hear it," Felix returned a smirk. "Was I able to...keep you occupied?"</p><p>Ashe giggled then, "Very much." </p><p>"Good," Felix nodded. "Seeing you sad...it doesn't suit you."</p><p>"Thank you for going out of your way." Ashe replied as heat started to set on his cheeks. Goddess, that's been happening all day. </p><p>Felix nodded then, but said nothing. He just stood there, his eyes still on Ashe, as if he were waiting for something. And something did happen. A loud clearing of someone's throat sounded a few feet away. The pair turned towards the direction of the training grounds to notice Sylvain approaching. A smug grin plastered on his face. Felix groaned.</p><p>"Hey, Ashe," Sylvain said. "Can it be my turn to hog up Felix's attention now?" </p><p>"Sylvain," Felix spoke before Ashe could. "Don't you have better things to do than bother me?" </p><p>"But <em> Fe, </em>" Sylvain whined. "We had the whole day to go into town and pick up some girls! You ditched me."</p><p>"I didn't want to join you in your foolish games." Felix rolled his eyes. "I had better things to do with my time." </p><p>"Oh, yeah?" Sylvain said as he threw an arm over Ashe's shoulder. "Like hang out with your new boyfriend?" </p><p>Ashe's cheeks flushed as he began to stammer. "N-no, no. It's nothing like that. He was just trying to help me-"</p><p>"I'm just joking," Sylvain laughed as he removed his arm and tussled Ashe's hair. "Wow, Fe. You're <em> red." </em></p><p>"Shut that stupid mouth of yours." Felix replied as he crossed his arms over his chest. </p><p>Noticing the tint of Felix's skin made Ashe blush harder. Why'd a silly statement like that fluster them so? It was just Sylvain's usual behavior, nothing else. </p><p>Sylvain laughed again as he started past the pair. "I'm hitting the hay. You two love birds have a good night."</p><p>Felix rolled his eyes again as Ashe tried to keep his composure. A sheepish laugh escaped his lips. "He's...silly, isn't he?"</p><p>"Ignore him," Felix sighed as he looked at Ashe. His cheeks still a soft pink. "He's dumb. You should...get some rest. It's been a long day."</p><p>"Right," Ashe replied as he smiled. "Thank you again. For everything. You've helped me out much more than you should have."</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Felix rubbed the back of his neck. "Like I said, you don't...look like you when you're sad." </p><p>"Oh?" Ashe teased. "And who exactly do I look like when I am then?" </p><p>Felix's eyes locked on his for a moment, before he shot them to the side with a shrug. "I...don't know how to answer that."</p><p>Ashe giggled then before he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Felix's waist. He breathed in his scent as he listened to his heart thump. "Thank you."</p><p>Felix wrapped his arms around Ashe then, enveloping him in warmth and comfort. Their embrace only lasted a few moments before they released each other. The chill of the night pricking up Ashe's skin instantly. </p><p>"Get some rest," Felix replied with a small smile. "See you tomorrow." </p><p>"Yeah," Ashe said. "Good night."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! Please enjoy this short story that has been plaguing my mind for weeks now! This will be just a few chapters, but I really wanted to work with these two so badly ahh &lt;3</p><p>Follow me on <a href="https://twitter.com/Bringmemisery?s=09">twitter</a><br/>where I talk about and draw these two lolol</p></blockquote></div></div>
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